What is the cost of efficiency? I recently started to realize that although I value efficiency and organization, I have lost some experiences along the way due to my commitment to my LIST. Of course, we are constantly making choices in life and when we choose one option, we eliminate so many others - that is to be expected. However, it is useful to know what we are choosing so that we can continue to make new choices if our commitments or goals change.

It was this line of thinking that made me realize that I have a habit (and many of my clients share this) of being so scheduled, that I don't ever have "hanging out" time. I have been this way since high school. I always had somewhere to go after school - I always had a plan. In retrospect, I think this was beneficial for me, but I don't really know what I missed, either. If you ask most people who were at the high school when I was there, if they remember me, they will probably say no. I just wasn't around.

This habit continues to this day. I have never been a mom that hangs out with other moms while our children play. I always opted to have a child at my house for a play date without that mother there, so I could "get things done." I probably missed out on some great friendships. And although I have always volunteered at the various schools we have been a part of, I have never chosen extracurricular activities with the parents. I get in, get the job done and move on. I am not a mom that can be called at the last minute to arrange an entire holiday party for my child's 3rd grade class, but if you give me advance notice, the party gets done.

In the workplace, you couldn't count on me to join everyone after work for a last minute get together with colleagues. If it was planned, I would schedule it in, but the chances of me being available on the spur of the moment were slim.

Can you relate to any of this? Or perhaps, your pattern has been completely different? I have friends who do hang out with the other moms after school and talk. They have close friendships with most of the other parents. They don't mind a long chat on the phone that takes them away from whatever they intended to do with that time. It just gets pushed to the next day, and that's ok.

Whatever the pattern is, it is not right or wrong, good or bad. But, it is useful to look at it - if only to decide if the pattern still works for you or if it needs to be modified. If it's working, keep using it. If not, see if you can tweak it slightly. Make it into a game and see if you can find the right balance for you.