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Do you have friends? Of course you do. So do I. Do you see your friends? Do you grab lunches, take walks, chat on the phone? If your answer to these questions is yes, then Bravo! However, if you're like me, you may feel as if you don't have time to cultivate and nurture friendships.
The people that we meet when we are immersed in school or our first jobs, are the ones that become true friends because we have the luxury of time. Time to hang out, time to share ups and downs and time to share experiences.

And then, things change. We move or we have families and we get busy. We lose our ability to create friendships in this way, because we are missing an important ingredient: time.
You may say, so what? I have my husband, my kids and my job. I have colleagues and acquaintances. I talk to other mothers at my "Mommy and Me" class. Who has time for anything else?

I struggle with that kind of thinking too. I tell myself I should be working or doing the grocery shopping. I should be spending that time with my kids! It feels frivolous and down deep, I don't want to be "a lady who lunches." My life has purpose after all! Or does it? If I am trying to live life as an expression of my values, then where are my friends?

Recently, I have begun to appreciate how important friendship is. I see that my parents have a group of friends that they have cultivated over years of spending time with eachother; laughing, sharing experiences, commiserating, having fun and supporting. In other words, sharing their lives.

This has inspired me to take a look at this important part of my life that I have not been missing completely, but has not been as rich as I would like it to be. I have begun to take time to cultivate new friendships, and to renew old friendships.

I have a group of women who I meet for breakfast every thursday morning. It's just one hour and we are not all able to make it each week. We came together because we all have boys the same age, but this is no longer just about the kids. There is a consistency that has grown over the four years that we have been doing this, and I am reaping real benefits now; a group of women who are true friends. I am forever grateful to the woman who invited me to join this very special group of moms.

I realize now, that I am building equity in a friendship account that will yield dividends forever.

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR FRIENDSHP:
1. Contact old friends. Who was your best-friend in college? Renew the friendship by email and then plan a time to see each other.

2. Ask someone to lunch or take a walk. Maybe there is a mom at school or a co-worker, that you think is great or interesting? Start a friendship with someone new.

3. If you are married or have a family, find other couples to socialize with. Ask them to dinner or invite their family over for a BBQ with your family.

4. Cultivate some kind of a group that meets regularly. Figure out an activity like walking, seeing movies or meeting for a meal and invite some people that you think would get along or have something in common. Make it a weekly or monthly event.

It will take time. Is it worth finding the time to do it now, for a benefit down the road? It was for me. Maybe it will be for you too.

What's new? Nothing? How wonderful! I am so pleased to announce, that blissfully, wonderfully, nothing is new! I have nothing to report. Everything is status quo. PHEW!

I recently came out of a 6 month whirlwind. It began with the first of 3 infestations of lice, in October. I won't bore you with the details. Let's just say; those little buggers have grown immune to the charms of the "over the counter" remedies. We now need professional- strength lice combers, creamers, washers and pickers. We got rid of it three times in four months and I am now an expert in a field for which I have a complete aversion.We also traveled to the east coast twice, went camping (may not sound like much, but we are not campers by nature,) coached my private clients and taught coaching classes, hosted friends and family, volunteered at the kids schools, enjoyed the busy holidays, kept a house running, maintained the health and sanity of three children, and so much more.

I started to see the end of the whirlwind in March with the completion of the elementary school talent show, (one of our favorite and most time-consuming volunteer efforts), a 1,200 mile road trip for spring break, a blow-out bowling party for my youngest and the adoption of a dog. Stop my calendar, I want to get out!As April grew closer, I began to take control of my future nothingness. Instead of busily filling in the spaces of my calendar, I protected those small blank spots, and now I am reaping the benefits.

Don't get me wrong; I am still busy. But, I am not crazed. Big difference! I took the kids to the beach after school yesterday and am going to lunch with a friend today. Typically, these kinds of activities happen every couple of months, if I'm lucky! So my spring wish for you is "nothing new" too!

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR NOTHING:
1. Take a look at your calendar for next month. Block out times during each week, where you commit to schedule nothing.
2. Practice saying no to invitations and pleas for participation from well-meaning freinds, family and neighbors who are just as busy as you and want company in their busy-ness.
3. Block out a family weekend day during the next month. Don't make any plans. Just wake up that morning and see where the day takes you.

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