A Little Dabble...Do Ya?

How many times have I started something, only to give it up 3 to 6 months later? And, to make things worse, like an amnesia survivor, I have absolutely no memory of why I stopped. I am only left with regret and a lingering annoyance with my seeming inability to “stick with something.” Does this happen to you?

Take yoga, for example. Armed with my cheery pink yoga mat and dressed in cozy yoga pants, I twisted, balanced, and held challenging poses with the best of them. I enjoyed it immensely and felt good after every class. One year later, I woke up and realized that at some point, I had stopped practicing yoga. What happened? How did that drop out? What changed? What is wrong with me?

Or, there was my commitment to start the day early. I loved it! Each day began easily before anyone in the house was stirring. I had plenty of time to check my emails before rousing the kids, making the lunches, delivering them to school and starting my work day. Fabulous! This would last forever, right? Wrong. I think that lasted for about 7 ½ weeks.

So what is this about? Why are we unable to sustain new patterns, at times? Or, should the question be; why do we feel we have to? In looking more deeply, I realize that I hope to stick with new patterns because I want to cross things off my list - FOREVER. After all, wouldn’t it be great to cross the whole dirty business of Exercise off the list? Whether it is yoga, biking, jogging or aerobics, my deepest wish is that I would settle into something and be done – really done. I imagine people asking, “How do you stay so fit at age 92?” And I reply with pride, as I balance on one finger; “I have been practicing yoga for 50 years and I have never missed a day!”

But maybe that’s not how life is? Perhaps, we are dabblers at heart. Is it the variety that is interesting? We dabble in meditation, art, reading and organization. We learn a language and then we don’t practice it and forget. Last year I dabbled in healthy lunches for the kids. I bought a dozen books and learned to hide spinach in Jello and lentils in home-made cookies. Yum! I thought it would last forever (My children imagined this also, to their dismay.) But, after awhile, I just stopped. Like a jilted lover left with no explanation, my healthy lunch cookbooks lay disillusioned on the kitchen counter. Did I lose interest in keeping my kids healthy? No, but I lost interest in the process. It was time to move on and learn something new. It was time for me to dabble in something else.

So, here’s to the dabblers! Try things out for awhile. Enjoy the variety. Become a Jane of all trades and master at none. Sometimes, a little dab’l do ya.

1. Choose something to dabble in. Don’t commit to forever, just commit to what you enjoy.

2. The next time you stop doing something, acknowledge yourself for having tried it and move on. Support your own curiosity.

3. Make a list of all of the things you have dabbled in over the years and celebrate. You have accomplished, a lot!

Honey, You Need Help!

I looked in the mirror this morning and this is what I saw; a very tired woman. Not unhappy, not yelling at the kids, but just plain tired. It’s not that I cannot do everything that needs to be done. I can, as long as I don’t sleep. But not sleeping leads to a very cranky version of myself that does not go over well with the rest of the family, so that’s not an option. I tell myself; “Fine, just eliminate items from your ‘to-do’ list.” But what can go? My daughter needs a costume for the talent show and I promised my other daughter that I would arrange a play date for her. I’ve got 3 new clients who I am excited about working with and I’m not going to give up the work I love. I want to get candy and cards for my family for Valentines Day. I want to sit down and have dinner with my children tonight. All of it is important… so what is a woman to do?

HONEY, GET HELP! Do you feel you have to do it all yourself? Sometimes I will think that if I give in and hire someone to help me, I’ve lost the battle. I want to believe I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan! Why? Cuz’ I’m a W O M A N? No, because I’m C R A Z Y!
So, what are the items on your list that you don’t have to do yourself? Can someone clean your house? Can someone pick up your kids from school? Can your older child help a younger child with homework? Can your husband pick up the dry cleaning on the way home? What are some small ways that you can get help, because honey, you need it! And you know what, your family needs you to get help also because if you are overwhelmed, you can’t really be with them in the way you want to be. What could be more important than that?

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR GETTING HELP:

1. Identify one or two things you do, that you don’t care about doing. Cleaning toilets, anyone?
2. Brainstorm some solutions with your family and ask them to help.
3. Look at your budget. Can you afford to spend some money each week to make life easier? What is 5 additional hours worth to you?
4. Notice if you are resisting getting help? Does having help make you less of a woman, mother or spouse? If so, it might be time to rethink thinking and get the help you need.