She's A Real Mother! by Jamee Tenzer

2008-11-23T14:52:00.000-08:00

The 5- Minute Solution (for multi-taskin’ Mamas)

What do we want our children to take away from their time with us? We do so much to make their lives rich. We love, support and care for them. We keep them organized, help them with challenges and introduce them to our world. But, what if our greatest impact is not what we do, but who we are being when we are with them? What if all of the doing that is so well intentioned, is but a drop in the bucket compared to what they observe in us?

If I look at what my children see me do, I can see areas that I am proud of and also areas that need work. For example, I am kind and courteous to the people I come into contact with throughout my day. I don’t snap at waiters who bring the wrong order or hang up the phone on the people who solicit during the dinner hour. This is nothing to brag about, but on the other hand, I model courtesy and this is good for something (she said hopefully.) Subsequently, I see those behaviors in my children as they mature and grow into compassionate citizens of our world.

And then there are those areas in which I have some challenges to overcome. For example, I like to get things done quickly and if I am busy and my kids are not moving at my speed, I can get impatient with them. One of my biggest challenges has always been to allow enough time for my kids to go at their own pace. I can park the car and be in the kitchen with 5 bags of groceries put away before my children have gathered their belongings and meandered down the front walk. I multi-task naturally and enjoy the sport of efficiency. That is how I am wired. And, in fact, our culture applauds that wiring so I can pat myself on the back as I simultaneously put my seatbelt on, start the car, open the garage and back out.

But what are my children learning? They see that at times, unless they go at my speed, they will be met with frustration and impatience. And what is all this about? Primarily, I am trying to get everything done for them, our home and our lives together! And in the process, I am teaching them intolerance and modeling a style of motherhood that is tense and no fun. Does it matter that dinner is on the table if getting it there was a crazed and harried experience for all of us?

So, I’ve started to think about any given day and dividing it into doing and being. The doing is easy to list. I make lunches for my children that I hope they will enjoy. I make sure they have the clothes they need and that they have opportunities to play with friends. I am interested in their school day and help them with their homework. I do things out of my love and commitment for them. It is easy.

But here is the hard part; taking the time to pay attention to who I am being. If I am running late in the morning, and in a rush to get the kids out of bed, what impact does that have? If I don’t leave enough time to help my daughter with a last minute homework problem or a clothing crisis, then what is the experience she will take to school? If I consistently get my son to school just in time to run in before the bell rings, what has he learned about taking the time to prepare for his day?

So here is my 5-minute solution. I am adding 5 minutes to everything I do in my day. If I think we should leave for school at 8:00am, we are leaving at 7:55am. If I think the kids should be able to get dressed in 10 minutes, I am allowing 15. When I wake my kids up in the morning, I am allowing more time for them to actually get up. So far, it is working well. I am more often, the patient mother I want to be. That is worth a pat on the back!

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR IMPLEMENTING A 5-MINUTE SOLUTION OF YOUR OWN:

1. What behaviors do you think your children are learning by watching you?

2. Divide the behaviors – empowering and disempowering.

3. Choose one disempowering behavior. What is something you could do to be more conscious of this way of being?

4. What is something you could do to change the behavior in small ways?

5. How can you measure that the behavior is changing?

6. Give yourself a big pat on the back!

2008-11-08T15:49:00.000-08:00

Looking Out for List Number One

You know those things you want to do someday? Here is my partial list:
Learn to speak Spanish, write a book, Take belly dancing lessons, complete a baby scrapbook for each of my three children, read the stack of books by my bed, help my daughter with her knitting and so much more. My list continues, indefinitely.

You know those things you do every day? Here’s my partial list:
Be wife, mommy, daughter, sister, coach, trainer and friend, answer emails, exercise, manage pets, call the plumber, call the phone company, buy more dog food, change the light-bulb, pay the bills, manage the family calendar and so much more. This list goes on indefinitely, too.

And, if I am not careful, these two lists shall never meet. List number one will forever be dominated by the hands-on-hips glare of self-important list number two. And list number two does have a point. She is filled with the items that MUST get done. Her tasks concern “real” issues such as getting food on the table, running a business, getting the kids to violin and ballet, making doctor’s appointments, putting the kids to bed at night and getting them up in the morning, on TIME.

List number one has none of these serious issues to offer. All she has is her commitment to balance, love, fun, creativity and living life to the fullest. List number one does have a secret though. She knows how important she is. Unlike list number two, she doesn’t need to prove herself. She just patiently waits for her opportunity to shine. So how do we let our number one list shine when days, weeks and months fly by, filled with the concerns of list number two.

Well, I have recently implemented a strategy. I have begun to put my list one items in my calendar. I started with belly dancing lessons. No, I am not a dancer, but if the presence of a “belly” is a requirement, then after 3 kids, I’ve got that one covered. In fact the last time I took a dance class was ballet when I was 7. So, to say I am a beginner, is an understatement. On top of that, when my daughter saw me watching a belly dancing “how-to” dvd, and trying to practice some of the “moves,” she suggested that I stop it immediately. This gives you an idea of my natural talent.

Luckily, list number one does not care about what people think or whether things make sense. I forged ahead with my strategy. I made a note on a particular day to find a class and sign up. Each time I came across that note and didn’t have time to do it, I moved it forward to the next day, the next week and yes, the next month. It took 3 months, but finally there was a day in which I was able to take the time to find and sign up for a class. That set the wheels in motion. I found someone to stay with the kids, purchased a beginners skirt and set of finger cymbals and blocked out those Wednesday classes in my calendar.

As soon as I make lunches for the kids, start dinner and get my little one in the tub, I’m going to practice my moves!

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR LIST NUMBER ONE:

1. Identify one item that you have wanted to do, take care of, learn about or research, for some time.

2. What is the first step on that project?

3. When can you take that step? Next week, next month or after the New Year? Whenever it is, just put it in your calendar. If you use an electronic calendar, you can always move it forward digitally. If you use a handwritten calendar, write it on a post-it so that it can be moved forward if needed.

4. Allow list number one to shine!

2008-10-11T14:00:00.001-07:00

Is it me? (I'm afraid so!)

This morning I had a bit of a hiccup with my first grader. As she inspected the lunch that I had made for her, she announced that she no longer likes the vegetarian chicken nuggets that have been the main staple of her diet, for the last 4 years. I calmly told her that, after all, she has loved these little morsels for 2/3 of her life, there are only 5 foods on this planet that she will eat, and 6:45am on a school day is not a good time to have a taste bud revolution. She listened and thought for a moment. She then looked at me and sweetly retorted with just a smidge of condescension; “Mama, don’t you know? People change.”

I looked at her, lost in the sincerity of her face. At a loss for words, I was all at once, impressed, frustrated and filled with a sense of inadequacy. I tried to solve the problem by reasoning with her. But, I was not in the frame of mind to do that and none of my strategies were working. Eventually, she went skipping off to the living room to play with the dog and I slumped upstairs to get dressed. I felt overwhelmed with the crushing responsibility of identifying yet another nutritious food that my daughter might accept. Like a football coach accepting defeat as my team of chicken nuggets were sent shuffling back to the locker room. The weight of the problem seemed insurmountable. Why was this so upsetting? Was it me? (Yes dear, I’m afraid so)

I went to my room and closed the door. That was smart. I took a breath. Yes I needed that. I gave myself a 5 minute time out. Good choice. And just as I was beginning to feel calmer, I decided to weigh myself. What? I stared at the numbers on the scale. They were mocking me, as they expanded, billowing out like huge unmanageable clouds of fat. Suddenly, my fragile peace of mind was gone. I stepped into the shower 5 lbs heavier than I was when I woke up that morning. I wanted to cry. Was it me? (Um… I’m afraid so.)

My mood worsened when got out of my 3-minute shower to find that the children had not made any progress in their morning routine. We only barely managed to gather ourselves together in time to make a dead run to the car armed with full cereal bowls, socks, shoes, backpacks, lunches and musical instruments. Somewhere between the garage and the school yard, the kids would have to get dressed and fed on their own. As I negotiated the well known short cuts on our drive to school and began to make up time, I felt myself relaxing. The children were laughing with each other and I could see that we would arrive on time. That would have been a great time to enjoy the absence of chaos, in blissful silence. But instead, I chose that moment to announce that I had an unexpected business meeting that evening and their least favorite babysitter would be staying with them. I was immediately enveloped with whining and complaining. How did this happen? What was I thinking? Was it me?

Yes, it was and is me, when I allow myself to get off-balance and out of synch. When I lose sleep or forget to take care of myself, I no longer address issues with a holistic approach. Instead of being a creative problem solver, I am like a crazed carpenter with only a hammer in my tool box. I make a lot of dents!

If I take care of myself, I can have a very successful conversation about chicken nuggets. I can weigh myself and accept the results as a challenge. I can get the kids into the car with shoes on and tummies full. I can even find a good time to break the babysitter news. When I have all the tools at my disposal, I’m pretty darn good at dealing with life’s little issues. That is me. Is it you too?

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR SELF-CARE:

1. Identify a menu of self-care items that create balance for you. Maybe you like to take a walk, go to the beach, read the paper with a cup of tea or take a bath. You are not doing anyone a favor by skipping your self-care. Put it in your calendar and consider it as important as grocery shopping, calling the plumber and fixing your daughter’s Halloween costume.
2. Make a list of 5-minute fixes you can do for yourself in an emergency. Go to the bathroom and lock the door, call your best friend, read a tabloid magazine or eat a gooey chocolate.
3. Notice what you do when you are not in balance and gently help yourself to stop the behavior. When I am out of synch, I have a tendency to put my foot in my mouth. When I notice myself getting out of balance, I try to stop talking. How do I know when that is? Because I hear myself asking “Is it me?” I’m afraid so.

2008-07-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

A Little Dabble...Do Ya?

How many times have I started something, only to give it up 3 to 6 months later? And, to make things worse, like an amnesia survivor, I have absolutely no memory of why I stopped. I am only left with regret and a lingering annoyance with my seeming inability to “stick with something.” Does this happen to you?

Take yoga, for example. Armed with my cheery pink yoga mat and dressed in cozy yoga pants, I twisted, balanced, and held challenging poses with the best of them. I enjoyed it immensely and felt good after every class. One year later, I woke up and realized that at some point, I had stopped practicing yoga. What happened? How did that drop out? What changed? What is wrong with me?

Or, there was my commitment to start the day early. I loved it! Each day began easily before anyone in the house was stirring. I had plenty of time to check my emails before rousing the kids, making the lunches, delivering them to school and starting my work day. Fabulous! This would last forever, right? Wrong. I think that lasted for about 7 ½ weeks.

So what is this about? Why are we unable to sustain new patterns, at times? Or, should the question be; why do we feel we have to? In looking more deeply, I realize that I hope to stick with new patterns because I want to cross things off my list - FOREVER. After all, wouldn’t it be great to cross the whole dirty business of Exercise off the list? Whether it is yoga, biking, jogging or aerobics, my deepest wish is that I would settle into something and be done – really done. I imagine people asking, “How do you stay so fit at age 92?” And I reply with pride, as I balance on one finger; “I have been practicing yoga for 50 years and I have never missed a day!”

But maybe that’s not how life is? Perhaps, we are dabblers at heart. Is it the variety that is interesting? We dabble in meditation, art, reading and organization. We learn a language and then we don’t practice it and forget. Last year I dabbled in healthy lunches for the kids. I bought a dozen books and learned to hide spinach in Jello and lentils in home-made cookies. Yum! I thought it would last forever (My children imagined this also, to their dismay.) But, after awhile, I just stopped. Like a jilted lover left with no explanation, my healthy lunch cookbooks lay disillusioned on the kitchen counter. Did I lose interest in keeping my kids healthy? No, but I lost interest in the process. It was time to move on and learn something new. It was time for me to dabble in something else.

So, here’s to the dabblers! Try things out for awhile. Enjoy the variety. Become a Jane of all trades and master at none. Sometimes, a little dab’l do ya.

1. Choose something to dabble in. Don’t commit to forever, just commit to what you enjoy.

2. The next time you stop doing something, acknowledge yourself for having tried it and move on. Support your own curiosity.

3. Make a list of all of the things you have dabbled in over the years and celebrate. You have accomplished, a lot!

2008-07-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

Honey, You Need Help!

I looked in the mirror this morning and this is what I saw; a very tired woman. Not unhappy, not yelling at the kids, but just plain tired. It’s not that I cannot do everything that needs to be done. I can, as long as I don’t sleep. But not sleeping leads to a very cranky version of myself that does not go over well with the rest of the family, so that’s not an option. I tell myself; “Fine, just eliminate items from your ‘to-do’ list.” But what can go? My daughter needs a costume for the talent show and I promised my other daughter that I would arrange a play date for her. I’ve got 3 new clients who I am excited about working with and I’m not going to give up the work I love. I want to get candy and cards for my family for Valentines Day. I want to sit down and have dinner with my children tonight. All of it is important… so what is a woman to do?

HONEY, GET HELP! Do you feel you have to do it all yourself? Sometimes I will think that if I give in and hire someone to help me, I’ve lost the battle. I want to believe I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan! Why? Cuz’ I’m a W O M A N? No, because I’m C R A Z Y!
So, what are the items on your list that you don’t have to do yourself? Can someone clean your house? Can someone pick up your kids from school? Can your older child help a younger child with homework? Can your husband pick up the dry cleaning on the way home? What are some small ways that you can get help, because honey, you need it! And you know what, your family needs you to get help also because if you are overwhelmed, you can’t really be with them in the way you want to be. What could be more important than that?

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR GETTING HELP:

1. Identify one or two things you do, that you don’t care about doing. Cleaning toilets, anyone?
2. Brainstorm some solutions with your family and ask them to help.
3. Look at your budget. Can you afford to spend some money each week to make life easier? What is 5 additional hours worth to you?
4. Notice if you are resisting getting help? Does having help make you less of a woman, mother or spouse? If so, it might be time to rethink thinking and get the help you need.

2008-06-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

No Time Like the Present?
What a Relief!

"I am going to stay in the present!" I declare! And, in the time it takes me to write those words, the present is long gone. I find myself firmly grounded in the future. I am thinking about my daughter's report that is due on Tuesday, the clients I will talk to later this week and wearily wonder when our dog will learn that although our bathroom is inside the house, his bathroom is outside.

Or, I am in the past. Why did I buy that pair of pants I will never wear and what possessed me to commit to co-chair the annual school fundraiser? Gurus, well-meaning friends and self-evolved mothers alike tell us to "be here now" and "take one day at a time." They extol the virtues of the present as though it were as wonderful as a pair of new shoes, as relaxing as a Swedish massage and as satisfying as a hot fudge sundae.

Being in the present comes with so much endorsement, I tip toe into the realm of spending some time in the "present," just to see what all the fuss is about. The first thing I can tell you is that staying in the present is mighty hard. Unfortunately, in order to stay in the present, one must be aware of each moment. This takes a disciplined mind and my mind is anything but disciplined. In fact, it needs a time-out. And the irony is, a time out is exactly what I am trying to give it!

But each time I tell myself to enjoy the moment, my mind veers off like a sleepy driver on a lonely stretch of highway. It wants to think about my to-do list. It wants to worry. It wants to hope for a better moment to come. It wants to imagine how great life would be if I could clean out the closet or lose 5 pounds. But, determined and committed, I trudge on. At first I am able to bring myself to the present for fleeting moments a few times a day. As I practice this, I am able to remember more often and enjoy more fully, the feeling of a cozy bed, the joke that my daughter just told me and the great smell of coffee brewing.

I'm beginning to see a bit of value in this notion of the present. We don't need to climb to a mountain top or live in a cave, to benefit from life in the present. We can continue to be busy, efficient, multi-taskers. Being in the present does not affect what we do or what we get done. It affects who we are being.

So do-ers continue doing! But as you do, stop and notice where you are.

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR THE PRESENT:
1. Find a way to remind yourself 3 times a day to be in the present. Put a reminder on your blackberry, a string around your finger or a post-it on your forehead. Whatever works!

2. When you do remember to focus on the present, identify one thing you notice that you like. Maybe your favorite song is on the radio or the kids are having fun together and not arguing.

3. Praise yourself for your moment in the present!

4. Each week, up the ante until you are spending 10 moments a day in the present. Notice how it feels. Does it change you? Does it change your experience of life?

Start now. There is no time like the present.

2008-05-16T12:58:00.000-07:00

Click here to schedule a complimentary session with Jamee

Do you have friends? Of course you do. So do I. Do you see your friends? Do you grab lunches, take walks, chat on the phone? If your answer to these questions is yes, then Bravo! However, if you're like me, you may feel as if you don't have time to cultivate and nurture friendships.
The people that we meet when we are immersed in school or our first jobs, are the ones that become true friends because we have the luxury of time. Time to hang out, time to share ups and downs and time to share experiences.

And then, things change. We move or we have families and we get busy. We lose our ability to create friendships in this way, because we are missing an important ingredient: time.
You may say, so what? I have my husband, my kids and my job. I have colleagues and acquaintances. I talk to other mothers at my "Mommy and Me" class. Who has time for anything else?

I struggle with that kind of thinking too. I tell myself I should be working or doing the grocery shopping. I should be spending that time with my kids! It feels frivolous and down deep, I don't want to be "a lady who lunches." My life has purpose after all! Or does it? If I am trying to live life as an expression of my values, then where are my friends?

Recently, I have begun to appreciate how important friendship is. I see that my parents have a group of friends that they have cultivated over years of spending time with eachother; laughing, sharing experiences, commiserating, having fun and supporting. In other words, sharing their lives.

This has inspired me to take a look at this important part of my life that I have not been missing completely, but has not been as rich as I would like it to be. I have begun to take time to cultivate new friendships, and to renew old friendships.

I have a group of women who I meet for breakfast every thursday morning. It's just one hour and we are not all able to make it each week. We came together because we all have boys the same age, but this is no longer just about the kids. There is a consistency that has grown over the four years that we have been doing this, and I am reaping real benefits now; a group of women who are true friends. I am forever grateful to the woman who invited me to join this very special group of moms.

I realize now, that I am building equity in a friendship account that will yield dividends forever.

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR FRIENDSHP:
1. Contact old friends. Who was your best-friend in college? Renew the friendship by email and then plan a time to see each other.

2. Ask someone to lunch or take a walk. Maybe there is a mom at school or a co-worker, that you think is great or interesting? Start a friendship with someone new.

3. If you are married or have a family, find other couples to socialize with. Ask them to dinner or invite their family over for a BBQ with your family.

4. Cultivate some kind of a group that meets regularly. Figure out an activity like walking, seeing movies or meeting for a meal and invite some people that you think would get along or have something in common. Make it a weekly or monthly event.

It will take time. Is it worth finding the time to do it now, for a benefit down the road? It was for me. Maybe it will be for you too.

2008-05-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

What's new? Nothing? How wonderful! I am so pleased to announce, that blissfully, wonderfully, nothing is new! I have nothing to report. Everything is status quo. PHEW!

I recently came out of a 6 month whirlwind. It began with the first of 3 infestations of lice, in October. I won't bore you with the details. Let's just say; those little buggers have grown immune to the charms of the "over the counter" remedies. We now need professional- strength lice combers, creamers, washers and pickers. We got rid of it three times in four months and I am now an expert in a field for which I have a complete aversion.We also traveled to the east coast twice, went camping (may not sound like much, but we are not campers by nature,) coached my private clients and taught coaching classes, hosted friends and family, volunteered at the kids schools, enjoyed the busy holidays, kept a house running, maintained the health and sanity of three children, and so much more.

I started to see the end of the whirlwind in March with the completion of the elementary school talent show, (one of our favorite and most time-consuming volunteer efforts), a 1,200 mile road trip for spring break, a blow-out bowling party for my youngest and the adoption of a dog. Stop my calendar, I want to get out!As April grew closer, I began to take control of my future nothingness. Instead of busily filling in the spaces of my calendar, I protected those small blank spots, and now I am reaping the benefits.

Don't get me wrong; I am still busy. But, I am not crazed. Big difference! I took the kids to the beach after school yesterday and am going to lunch with a friend today. Typically, these kinds of activities happen every couple of months, if I'm lucky! So my spring wish for you is "nothing new" too!

COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR NOTHING:
1. Take a look at your calendar for next month. Block out times during each week, where you commit to schedule nothing.
2. Practice saying no to invitations and pleas for participation from well-meaning freinds, family and neighbors who are just as busy as you and want company in their busy-ness.
3. Block out a family weekend day during the next month. Don't make any plans. Just wake up that morning and see where the day takes you.

Click here to learn more about Jamee or to schedule a complimentary session

2008-03-14T05:41:00.000-07:00

Clean Out and Clean Up!

Recently, I have been on a "start-the-new-year-off-right" saving spree. Now, I know it's March already - but it still feels like the beginning of the year, doesn't it? And, these activities have received an impetus from the new buds of spring!

I've been successfully saying no to small purchases that we really don't need and taking those few extra moments to think about whether there might be a lower cost solution to the challenge at hand.

At the same time, (I don't know what has gotten into me!) I have been cleaning out my closets, drawers and freezer. And much to my surprise, I am finding an absolute gold mine hiding in the forgotten nooks and crannies of my home. I started actually USING the food that I had carefully labeled and stored in my freezer. I had to get over my resistance to defrosting - a pet peeve - but, once I did, I found some wonderful turkey soup, lasagna, my daughter's favorite meatballs and so much more. Over the past month, I've substituted a few of these frozen masterpieces for dinners that would have been pizza or some other kind of "take-out," and saved a couple of bucks.

Then I moved onto my closets. You won't believe what I found in there; clothes! Shoes! Sweaters, oh my! You know that old phrase "So many clothes, nothing to wear!?" Guess what? I actually do own clothes that I love and want to wear. The problem is, I forget what I have.
On to the drawers! Do you buy the same item over and over again because you can't remember if you have it already at home? I do this with cold medicines, Q-tips, tape, nail polish, and so much more. I also buy greeting cards that I think are funny and then forget to send them to anyone. At $3 per card, each time I use one I've already bought, I can earn enough for a good cup of coffee. Now that's a good trade-off!

COACH ME QUICK! TIPS FOR CLEANING UP!
1. Set aside 10 minutes per day this week to look in your drawers, closet or freezer. What will you find? What can you use?
2. The next time your child has a project due for school or needs a costume, take a minute to see if you have some of the supplies you need at home, before going to the store.
3. Celebrate the small savings. Make it a game. This is not about sacrifice, it's about saving money that you can use for something that holds real value for you or someone you love.

If you are interested in setting up a complimentary coaching session, please contact Jamee at tenzer@lifeworks4ucoaching.com or visit www.lifeworks4ucoaching.com.

2007-07-13T22:10:00.000-07:00

Stop the complaining.

A friend called me the other day, disappointed, angry and feeling unappreciated. She said; “sometimes it seems like the world is lodging their complaints at me. And when I say the world, I mean, my children.” She’s not alone. I often feel that I too, am a magnet for complaining. We tell ourselves that our children complain to us because they feel they CAN. They know we will love them indefinitely and unconditionally. And that logic makes us feel better temporarily.

What happens when we have a day in which everything is meant with a complaint? Everything that we arrange, create, pay for, clean up and line up for our children seems to go unnoticed while each request to take out the trash, do homework or take a shower is meant with a litany of complaints?

As my friend and I continued complaining to each other about this complaining, we also resolved to try something new. What would happen if we changed our reactions slightly? We know that anytime e change our behavior in a relationship, the other person’s behavior will change also. Relationships are like a dance. If you step this way, your partner will match those steps.

So we thought we would experiment with detaching from the complaints. We decided that the complaining had absolutely nothing to do with us. The children are complaining. That is no different from the children being hungry, tired, funny, loving or happy. It is a state of being. We make it mean something be reacting.

When your children complain, try listening as if you don’t have to fix it and you don’t have to change it. You have made a decision and your child is not happy. That is ok as long as they follow your rules. They are allowed to be unhappy and complain. Or, if you don’t want to listen, you can just let them know (calmly) that it is fine to complain, but they need to do it someplace else. Complaining becomes a habit in children and adults. Let’s stop the complaining.

2007-07-08T16:35:00.000-07:00

What is the cost of efficiency? I recently started to realize that although I value efficiency and organization, I have lost some experiences along the way due to my commitment to my LIST. Of course, we are constantly making choices in life and when we choose one option, we eliminate so many others - that is to be expected. However, it is useful to know what we are choosing so that we can continue to make new choices if our commitments or goals change.

It was this line of thinking that made me realize that I have a habit (and many of my clients share this) of being so scheduled, that I don't ever have "hanging out" time. I have been this way since high school. I always had somewhere to go after school - I always had a plan. In retrospect, I think this was beneficial for me, but I don't really know what I missed, either. If you ask most people who were at the high school when I was there, if they remember me, they will probably say no. I just wasn't around.

This habit continues to this day. I have never been a mom that hangs out with other moms while our children play. I always opted to have a child at my house for a play date without that mother there, so I could "get things done." I probably missed out on some great friendships. And although I have always volunteered at the various schools we have been a part of, I have never chosen extracurricular activities with the parents. I get in, get the job done and move on. I am not a mom that can be called at the last minute to arrange an entire holiday party for my child's 3rd grade class, but if you give me advance notice, the party gets done.

In the workplace, you couldn't count on me to join everyone after work for a last minute get together with colleagues. If it was planned, I would schedule it in, but the chances of me being available on the spur of the moment were slim.

Can you relate to any of this? Or perhaps, your pattern has been completely different? I have friends who do hang out with the other moms after school and talk. They have close friendships with most of the other parents. They don't mind a long chat on the phone that takes them away from whatever they intended to do with that time. It just gets pushed to the next day, and that's ok.

Whatever the pattern is, it is not right or wrong, good or bad. But, it is useful to look at it - if only to decide if the pattern still works for you or if it needs to be modified. If it's working, keep using it. If not, see if you can tweak it slightly. Make it into a game and see if you can find the right balance for you.

2007-07-07T15:47:00.001-07:00

I recently heard someone tell a story that I thought was very useful. It is believed to be an old Native American story, but there may be versions of it in many different cultures. The story is about a grandfather and his grandson. The grandson is telling his grandfather about a fight he had with a friend. He is very angry and wants to hurt the friend in some way - exacting revenge.

The grandfather listens carefully and then relates a story that is similar from his childhood. He tells the boy that he has felt the same way and then, he goes on to say that he believes we all have two wolves who live inside us. One wolf is resentful and wants revenge. The other wolf is loving and wants to be loved.

The grandfather explains that even though he is getting old, the two wolves inside him continue to fight with eachother. The little boy thinks about this for awhile and then asks his grandfather; "which wolf wins?" The grandfather smiles at him and answers; "the one I feed."

Another way of expressing this concept is to say that what we focus on, expands. What do we focus on? Who are the wolves that fight inside us and are we feeding the right one? Are we feeding the one that will get us to the experience we want in life?

If we want a life that is not too busy or overwhelming, we need to stop feeding the wolf that takes on too many commitments.

The wolves don't go away. The process is constantly unfolding. Which wolf do you want to feed today?

2007-06-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

O.k. Here's an idea that might be a time-saver for you. A friend of mine has been doing this for years and I recently caught on to its infinite wisdom. I notice that I spend a lot of time packing and unpacking bags. I pack a bag for swimming lessons, dance classes, days at the beach, toys for my children to play with when we go out to dinner, work material to read while waiting at doctor and business appointments, etc. You name it. I have a variety of tote bags and I seem to be endlessly packing and unpacking for these activities.

What if we just identified particular tote bags and left them packed? We could have the activity bag to keep small children occupied in the car, the bag packed for soccer or Karate, the bag with dry cleaning to drop at the cleaners, the bag of items we need to exchange or return. When we get home from dance class or the beach, everything needs to be washed of course, but then we can just stick all of it back in the bag. Leave out that step of putting things away just to be taken out and packed again.

With a small investment in tote bags (and many of us receive these as gifts or at conventions we attend) we could stop packing and unpacking. I'm going to try it this summer - and see if it works. Remember, it's the tote that counts.

2007-06-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

So, summer is here and I have a desire to clean out, purge and streamline the house. In my imaginary world, there are hours and hours that I can spend on this project, but in my real world, I have about 10 minutes between sending the kids off to camp and sitting down to work with my first client of the day.

So, rather than tackling this all at once, I made a goal of cleaning out and getting rid of 2 bags of unwanted items each week. If I'm in my closet and I see a sweater or pair of pants I am ready to part with, I put it in the bag. When I am looking for a story to read my daughter and see a book we havn't ever read and never will, I throw it in the bag. Believe me, I get my two bags filled pronto!

And the kids are helping too. If you have children you know that they collect lots and lots of very tiny little things and then wrap them carefully in other tiny things and put them in places where they are never thought of again until they are found and cannot be thrown out because (who knew?) they absolutely "adore" that particular item that they havn't looked at since the summer of 2005. Oy! Give them some incentive. I pay my 5-year old $1 per bag. Believe me, she is working!

Often we tell ourselves that it is best to wait until we can do the whole job, but when will we ever have that kind of time? If you are like me, never. But I do have many small windows of time that can be utilized for outstanding results!

2007-06-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

Are you a multi-tasker? What does that mean to you? To me, it means that I can do more than one thing at a time in order to be more efficient. The idea is that if I use my time wisely, I will have time to do what I love, like hang out with family and friends, watch movies, take naps and play. Sometimes it works - other times, my multi-tasking simply helps me to keep my head above water with everything that I do - run a business, a home and raise three children with my husband.

Multi-tasking is a great skill set to have and use for some people. But how do you develop it if it doesn't come naturally? Many organized, responsible, dedicated people are not natural multi-taskers. And for many of these people, the last thing they want to do is learn how to multi-task - like committing to flossing one extra time each day - why would anyone WANT to do that? But for those of you who are interested in honing this skill set, read on!

I like to break things down into two parts: our external actions and our internal thinking. Let's talk about the internal thinking first. Unless there is clear value that you can identify for yourself out of doing something a different way, you probably won't do it. Bummer. But, there is hope! You can create value. Take a few minutes to write down some positive outcomes that might show up when you become better at multi-tasking.

Now let's look at the external actions. What are the habits of a multi-tasker? You know if you act like a multi-tasker, you will become one eventually. The most successful strategy I have seen my clients employ to support their multi tasking habit is planning ahead:

1. You can't take it with you? Oh yes you can! If you need to drop off the cleaning sometime this week, put the bag in your car. You might have an extra 15 minutes at some point in the day and be able to zip on over there. If the clothes are with you, you can take advantage of these moments.

2. Do Your Own Thing. Don't wait until you are sitting in the doctor's office or having your hair cut to realize that you could be reading that article, hemming your daughter's skirt or writing your speech for your networking meeting. Have something to do that will save time later.

3. Going My Way? If you have an appointment across town, what else can you do while you are there? Do you have someone else to see or an errand to do in that neighborhood? Schedule your appointments and errands geographically, particularly if you live in a place in which getting around is tricky - got it New Yorkers and Los Angelenos?

Any more ideas? Please share them with me... I'll be reading and chewing gum at the same time.

2007-06-01T18:18:00.000-07:00

How do you motivate yourself to take action? What makes the difference between not doing something and then, in an instant, doing it? What changed in that moment? Maybe something changed in your external world, but more likely, something changed in your internal world.

Like climbing the mountains of Tibet to learn the secret of life from a Buddhist Master, climbing into our heads to figure out the secret to motivation, can be a long journey. Thankfully, the scenery along the way is breathtaking - but I digress.

In my coaching practice, my clients deal with this daily. Something is not getting done even though my client wants and needs it to be done already. It feels like struggle. It's hard. It may not be clear how to do it or why. And then, the next time we speak, it got done. I always ask; "what changed? What was the thought or decision that motivated you?" Sometimes this is identifiable and when it is, I say "Write it down. You'll need that next time."

I have identified a few things that work for me. I can sometimes motivate myself with a deadline - even a false one. Sometimes, I can motivate myself by promising a reward - like a nice long nap - if I get all my work done. Sometimes I am motivated by making someone else happy or completing a project.

I have a client who is motivated by avoiding guilt. She feels guilty if she doesn't do what she says she will do. (She's working on replacing this method with something that feels a little better.) So what are your motivations? What are the incentives? Are there any you could create for yourself right now?

Taking the action is often the easy part - getting started is where we get stuck. I'd love to hear your thoughts- who knows, it may get me motivated.

2007-05-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year when children are completing their school years, projects and extra-curricular activities. I've gotta say.. that I am really really busy. And, I can't complain.. because, "it's all good, baby..." But, it can be exhausting too.

Last week we attended my daughter's piano recital, yesterday it was violin. My little one has two dance recitals and a pre-school graduation which unfortunately conflict with my older daughter's end of the year school trip and my son's open house. With all this going on, I really hope we are actually getting all of the school work finished and in on time, because, frankly, I'm running out of gas. I'm just hoping I'll be able to coast into that summer station on fumes, to fill up my tank.

It seems I am in the perpetual motion of dressing children up in their appropriate outfits and costumes, delivering them to these events, just to crowd into an auditorium, theater or classroom with a bunch of other sweaty exhausted parents. I am joined in this madness by my husband and my other children (whichever ones do not happen to be highlighted at that moment,)who all diligently struggle to stay awake(come on people, let's be honest.. it's not usually great entertainment until your kid is up there and then it is all worth it.) When it is all over (Thank goodness!) we hoot and holler, hug our children, give them kisses and flowers.. eat the cupcakes everybody brought and move on to the next event.

It's the end of school year dance we do, and how very lucky we are to be doing it. As I sit, exhausted, hungry, thinking of the many things I have to do that are not getting done, I remind myself that I am where I want to be. I signed up for this crazy world of children and it only takes reading the headlines or listening to npr, for me to realize how incredibly lucky I am to be among the privileged and the sweaty - the parents!

2007-05-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

What would you like to acknowledge yourself for today? That may seem like a simple question, and yet, if you try to answer it, you may have some difficulty. Our minds don't always work that way. "Acknowledge myself?" Sometimes when I ask myself this question, the answer is "NOTHING!" This if then followed by a litany of everything that the little voice in my head feels I am not doing well enough or often enough.

What about you? Take a minute. Ask yourself the question. What is the first thing you hear? You may hear some negativity at first, but keep listening. The answer is in there, I promise!

At the end of every session, I ask my clients this question and the answers range from "I want to acknowledge myself for not eating that donut this morning," to "I was finally able to ask my boss for that raise, and she gave it to me!"

O.k., so you might be wondering, what's the point? Why do this? Is this simply a tool for patting ourselves on the back? (and that's not such a bad thing by the way) Not really. Here's the deal - what you focus on expands. If you focus on what is working, you'll get more of it. And of course, the opposite is true. So take a minute to ask yourself and then ask the people you love too. What can they acknowledge themselves for? What can all of us acknowledge ourselves for today?

2007-05-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

Did you ever find yourself thinking "I am just too BUSY! I have too much to do. I am overwhelmed, underpaid, stressed out and not enjoying any part of my life, EVER!" I too, find myself experiencing those days, weeks and months, at times. It feels like everything is a burden, everything is hard, and I am not enough.

My clients go through these periods also. As I work with my clients, I have shared many tools with them to help them to shift perspective and ease the process of being too busy. It's a fine balance though. We like to have enough to do, but not too much to do. Like a dessert souffle, it can be divine, but if we get the ingredients wrong, we may watch it crumble before our eyes. So what is this phenomena of "too busy?" How can we begin to take smaller bites and look at the contents of this souffle?

One way is to adopt "Busy bad to busy good." Let's say, you look at your day and it is all just too darn busy - let's face it, it's busy bad. Now start to take apart your day - what are you busy with? Do you have to go to the gym? Why? Does this make you feel good about yourself in the long run? Are you running to pick up your kids? Are your kids a gift in your life? Do you have to pack for a vacation, buy a new dress for that party or hire a babysitter so you and your husband can go out? Is some of this busy-ness, buying you "busy good?"

If we can start to separate busy bad and busy good and see the tasks in life that lead us where we want to go, as positive, we will lessen the burden of "busy."

Here's a thought that one of my absolutely fabulous clients (I learn so much from watching the courage and creativity of my clients!) sent to me today about "busy bad to busy good" related to a diet that she is on:

"Regarding Busy Good Busy Bad. I’m not sure why, but this simple little thing has really been a great jumping off point for my attitude in general. I realized that I was really having a victim attitude related to this diet I’m on which has recently become increasingly restrictive. But then, I realized what a great opportunity it is to be healthy and take good care of my body. I’ve been trying to tell myself that all along. But I noticed that I still need to be paying attention to my attitude. One way is to look at it using Busy bad to busy good. It is simple and snaps me back to the positive."

What a great way to utilize the tool. I would love to hear your thoughts about this or any other posting to this blog. You can email me at tenzer@lifeworks4ucoaching.com. To sign up for my e-zine, that is filled with quick tips for busy women and supermom secrets, please visit www.lifeworks4ucoaching.com.

2007-05-03T22:10:00.000-07:00

My hair's on fire and that's the least of my problems! Have you ever felt that there were so many things wrong at once, that some outside power must be toying with you? This morning, my computer crashed, AND, so did my daughter’s computer – right before the final paper was due. And no, we have not backed up her computer – why? Because the back up software that we have, is more complicated than the last shuttle that blasted off from NASA. I DARE Bill Gates to make the thing work!

After spending many hours with a technician on the phone trying to fix my computer, I heard the magic words – “this is really weird. You must have some kind of worm that is eating the thing that is supposed to keep the worms out.” Nice. Then, I hired a lovely computer technician to come to my house. He was great… he was here for hours and only charged me for half of his time, which nearly broke the bank. I am buying a brand new computer and all of my children are becoming computer technicians, whether they want to or not.

So, finally my daughter’s computer is up and running. It took so long that she missed her dance and piano classes, but that’s ok. We did manage to pick my son up from a play-date after school, just in time to see that he has a rash from head to foot. Of course, the doctor’s office JUST closed. After talking to a surly doctor “on call,” who didn’t understand why I was calling about a rash, and told me to give the kid Benadryl, which I already was planning, I managed to drive to the closest McDonalds to feed the kids because dinner was not going to happen any other way and at this point, heart disease is the least of my problems.

And, I’m glad I did, because as I peeled out of the drive thru, the brakes started making a noise that made me imagine a large bovine in labor - not that I have ever witnessed such an event. As I mentally tried to think of when I might have time to get the brakes fixed, I started itching in sympathy with my son as I tried to calm my 5-year old who was complaining bitterly about not being able to play “Barbie” on my computer - because of course, my computer, is no more. Ever had a day like that? We all have.

How can we deal with these days?

Understand that you are in a crisis. That is different than normal life, and it cannot last forever. It will end. Trust that.
Ask for help. You need extra support right now.
Share what is happening to you. When people ask how you you are, tell them how you are!
Focus on the three most important challenges you are facing and do what you need to do to solve them. Everything else will get swept up in the momentum you create.
Laugh, laugh, laugh.

2007-04-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

I coach women who are busy, high-powered, over-committed and exhausted. Most of them are married with children and holding down part or full-time jobs. Their husbands are busy too - they are not just sitting around watching football and drinking beer. These guys are involved with the kids, the house and the extra-curricular activities. In fact, most of the women I coach have really great men in their lives who are committed to supporting them in getting the help they need from a coach, nanny, housekeeper or assistant.

And yet, I often hear the complaint that they are not getting enough help from their husbands, or, they are not getting the RIGHT kind of help from their husbands. And for some reason, rather than talk to the men in their lives, they just take on more. They don’t want to rock the boat. They see that their husbands do so much, and assume that if he isn’t doing something it is because he just isn’t willing to. Or, they assume that their husband just is not capable of doing more. And so, they take on more, they get exhausted, annoyed and resentful. Believe me, there isn’t a husband out there, that wouldn’t like to avoid being married to an exhausted, annoyed and resentful woman, really!

So, why is this happening? Women who can lead fortune 500 companies, cannot seem to ask their husbands to pick a toy up off the kitchen floor? Where is the disconnect that allows this to persist? I have a few ideas.

First of all, women are human. Human beings like to feel that they are BETTER at something, than other human beings. Our culture supports the idea that women, in general, are better at home and family. And, because it makes us feel good, we buy into that. But why are we better? Is it just because we get the practice? If you wash dishes, do enough laundry and change enough diapers, anyone can get pretty good at that stuff.

Second, we can sometimes fall into the trap of wanting our husbands to KNOW what needs to be done. We can look around the room and see everything that is out of place and yet, our mate, can just walk right by. Is he ignoring it? Does he see it at all? Does he care? Don’t assume you know WHY he is not noticing what you notice. We are all wired differently.

If he leaves the house in a way that is messy or not the way you like it, don’t take it personally. He is not dis-respecting you or trying to tell you something when he leaves his dirty dishes in the sink or his socks stuffed in between the sofa cushions. He was simply at the sink with a handful of dirty dishes and then, he happened to be at the couch when he took off his socks. That’s it. It’s not about you.

So, what are the solutions? Try giving up being the expert around the house. Tell your husband what you would like him to do. And, be specific. Finally, give your honey a squeeze. Tell him everything you appreciate about him. That’ll get those socks picked up, pronto!

2007-04-18T19:18:00.000-07:00

As a mother.. are you afraid? I recently noticed that I live with a low grade sense of fear about many things related to my children. And, I noticed that there is a mom culture that supports the anxiety. We are afraid that our children will talk to strangers or get hurt on the playground. We worry that our children are eating too much sugar, trans-fats, fast-food, wheat and dairy. Maybe they don't get enough vitamins and vegetables? We're sure they are watching too much T.V. What about schools? Are they getting into the right ones? Are they learning enough? Are they excelling or are we pushing them too hard? And if all that isn't enough, what about addiction, drinking and over-sexualization? I don't know about you, but I'm a nervous wreck just making this list!

I recently noticed that some mothers carry this fear and concern as a badge of honor. If we are worried about our kids, it means we care, we are intelligent, we are resourceful. We discuss solutions and we fret with each twist and turn of our child's experiences. But, is it helpful and empowering to live in this framework?

Clearly we care for our kids, but if we are afraid of our child's world and feel we need to protect them at every turn, are we actually creating an environment in which all we can see is danger? If we expect a world that doesn't nurture our children, are we creating that too? What do I mean by "creating?" I mean that we see what we are looking for in life and if we are looking for a world that is scary, we will find plenty of things to be afraid of.

Plus, we are not the only people affected. All this fear is creating anxiety in us, but it creates anxiety in our children too. They absorb so much from us - even if we are not talking about our concerns.. we are letting them know through our warnings and the things we won't let them do, that there is so much about life that we don't trust.

So what is the middle ground? There is no question that we are responsible for the health and well-being of our children. We need to take action and protect them when appropriate. We need to teach them how to be safe and what the pitfalls in life are, so that they can avoid them. I even agree that a bit of over-protection at times, makes sense. But, when our fear and anxiety becomes a habit - when it becomes a way of socializing with the other parents, then maybe instead of being responsible parents, we are simply putting up as many walls as we possibly can with the resources we have.

We all have to make our decisions based on what we know is right for us and our children. I'm going to try something new today - I am going to focus on the areas in which I am not worried about my kids - where I know that they are thriving and happy. It puts a smile on my face just to think about it.

2007-04-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

"I'm living in the spin cycle!" is a mantra that I hear from my clients, who are busy, high-powered, over-committed and exhausted women. And, to be honest, the little voice in my head is not unfamiliar with the phrase.

So, are there solutions? You bet! My clients come to me because they have no time and very little freedom. In three to six months, new careers are born, closets get cleaned, weekends open up and personal time re-appears. But, there is a time for solutions, and a time for acceptance. In fact, it is almost impossible to find solutions without acceptance.

So how can we accept our lives right now? Maybe a shift in perspective is in order? If we are living in the spin cycle, what does that mean? Does it mean we have a full life? Does it mean we have people that we are responsible to, and for? Are we loved? Are we capable? Maybe there is something to be said for "living in the spin cycle?"

If we break down the phrase, we find some powerful words. First of all, we're "living" - better than the alternative and all that. What about "spin cycle?" The spin cycle is just that, it's a cycle. One of the inherent truths about a cycle is that it is constantly changing. Maybe we can accept this part of the cycle with the knowledge that the cycle changes and with those changes come new opportunities.

Take a moment and notice if you feel you are in the spin cycle. If you are, accept it. Let go of resisting it. Make a list of all that you are grateful for right now. Make a list of the things that are making you crazy. Now, make a list of 3 actions (you might want to hire a coach?) you can take during this season (in which new beginnings are sprouting up everywhere) that will start to address the things that are making you crazy. Remember, the spin is ok sometimes - just make sure it is a cycle and not a pattern.

To subscribe to "Coach Me Quick" or for a complimentary coaching session, click here http://www.lifeworks4ucoaching.com or email me at tenzer@lifeworks4ucoaching.com

2006-05-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

Are you a Supermom? Chances are if you are a mom, then you are a Supermom. But you may not feel as if you always deserve that title. Why is that? Why does the cultural definition of Supermom seem unnattainable for most of us? What is our internal definition and can we even attain that? Have we set standards for ourselves and others that are congruent with our commitments to life balance, self-care and sanity? Are we having fun yet? If not, let's do something about it. Let's create our own definition and make it workable. If I created a definition it would include the following: Supermom is not perfect. (Just ask my children! )Supermom forgets that she signed up to bring cookies to the bake sale at times and she does not always have playdates lined up for the little darlings. Supermom definately loses her temper occasionally and then teaches her kids about emotional responsibility when she apologizes and takes responsibility for her own actions. Supermom may not be the best cook all the time, but she makes up for it in hugs and words of support for her children. Supermom needs to work late or cannot be at every school function, but she knows her children well enough to know what is most important for them and then provides it consistently. In my home, Supermom definately finds time to take a nap! Being a Supermom, when you are truly who you are, is so fun! Your kids will enjoy the real you, not the person you feel you should be.

2006-03-04T13:39:00.000-08:00

Invent it - create it - design it!

As we move through our lives, are we aligning with "designed" or "default" intentions? Probably a bit of both. "Designed intention" is an umbrella term for our goals, commitments and aspirations. We get our designed intentions through a conscious process that is usually fueled by inspiration. When we are excited about something or drawn to a particular field, task or goal, this creates an energy that makes us want to design an intention. Once the intentions are designed, actions can be identified that align with those intentions. Each action is like a car, with the designed intention as the fuel.

De-fault intentions are those ideas and thoughts that fuel some of our actions but do not stem from our stated goals and aspirations. These are the unconscious or subconscious thoughts, likes, dislikes and fears that cause us to take actions that move us further away from our goals. De-fault intentions may arise from childhood belief systems or from the human desire for immediate gratification. We have all had the experience of taking actions again and again that we KNOW do not serve us - these are probably default intentions.

So as we roll down the freeway of life, it seems to me that if we can stay on the "designed intention" map and avoid the detours caused by de-fault intentions, we probably have a good chance of getting where we are going - eventually! The problem is that those default intentions are tricky. Like Wylie Coyote trying to get the Road Runner off track, our default intentions can be very persuasive.

So how the heck do we outsmart the default intentions? Well, default intention only takes over when there is no designed intention in place. Because designed intention is created from inspiration and energy, it is very powerful and can knock our default intentions off the map.

There are lots of solutions and the good news is that we don't have to be perfect. The best objective is to have most, but certainly not all, of our actions be in line with our designed intentions.

Here are some ways to stay on track and get where you want to go:

1. Write down your designed intention (more details are better)
2. Write down the 3 de-fault intentions that will most likely try to trip you up (I'm not good enough, it will
never work, I've failed in the past, I'd rather eat a box of donuts - you get the idea, right?)
3. Look at your to-do list each day and ask yourself "am I taking at least 3 actions toward my designed intention?" If you are not, you may want to re-prioritize.

Remember, you can always have a fresh start. If February was full of default intentions, who cares? March is a brand new opportunity. We are human and we will move between these intentions throughout our lives.

2006-02-07T11:01:00.000-08:00

It’s a “Number’s Game.” Success is as simple as 2+2 = 4
Coach Jamee - lifeworks4ucoaching.com

As a Life Coach, I have the great privilege of working with people as they identify and achieve their goals. The process is exciting. My clients identify goals that are inspiring, fun and energizing. Once they have something great to look forward to, they can strategize and create an action map to achieve that goal. And then, operating on the exciting future that they have created for themselves, they can take those actions and achieve goals.

The process is very fluid, but, there is one very large missing piece that can be a stumbling block for my clients, me and most human beings. The stumbling block is our desire to know WHEN we are going to achieve the goal, and unfortunately, “when” is a mystery. We don’t really know if our goal will be achieved in 1, 10, 100 or 1000 steps. That is hard for us to live with – our mind takes that information and begins to use it as a reason to stop taking action and to stop trusting ourselves.

Here is a perspective that is helpful when dealing with the issue of “when.” Let’s say, there is a finite number of steps, between you and your goal. We don’t know what it is, but we know that it is finite. If that were so, then the faster you take the steps, the faster you get to your goal. This is simple math right? If you are committed to taking 5 steps per week, try taking 10 instead with the knowledge that you are cutting the time between you and your goal, in half. Make this into a Numbers Game.

The bottom line is that your goal will happen at some point. The trick is to quiet your mind during the process, by operating from an empowering perspective. So try on the Number’s Game, and make the process more fun!